Imagine this...

Imagine you are a police officer….. When you come to work and have just put your uniform and gear on when you get called to a Family Domestic Violence incident. As you arrive you meet two very agitated people, there is blood everywhere, the woman has what looks like a stab wound to both her face and arm, the man has a ripped shirt, there are lots of screaming, lots of fear mixed with despair and anger among the adults. Under the table, there is a 4-year-old holding a toddler tight in her arms and the toddler is holding on for dear life to his sister.

As your colleagues are attending to the parents, you get down on your knees to attend to the children. The tears and the fear the children feel is not made any less by the parents screaming – “Get away from my children. Don’t you touch them!” Now the children are screaming and crying for their parents as the only adults they know. The parents are now both trying to get back to their children and end up both being arrested… you gently take the children in your arms, you speak softly and loving to them as you bring them to the hospital, where you wait there until child protection services arrive. (Fast forward two weeks from today, you have to re-attend the same address/same people for a recurrence of the same Family Violence issue… you may think to yourself this endless cycle will continue unless many forms of disruptors/support are injected into the mix) It is now noon and you are heading back to the office to write the report when you and your partner receive another call of a Family Domestic Violence incident and then another.

It is now 5 o’clock and your shift has been over for an hour and you still have all the incidents to report. By the time you have provided the appropriate duty of care to all, investigating finding out who is the Primary/Secondary perpetrators and Primary/Secondary Victims in today’s incidents. You have referrals and follow-ups with the triage team, and then the triage team will follow up with these families and make sure they are offered/provided the help and care they need to live free from family violence.

You do your best even if it is so hard to not think of those children and you wonder what the future has in store for them and their families. What else could you do? Then you think of your own children and can’t wait to hug them hard when you get home….

At 8 o’clock when you pick up some dinner on your way home, you overhear two people in the grocery lane saying – “Look at her thinking she is all that, some fancy police officer. They don’t do anything to help anybody but themselves.” You take a deep breath and sigh, feel sad that is what they think and wish you would have time and energy to explain to them even just what one day had been like and how much you do care and why you became a Police Officer was to protect the community….

While putting petrol in your car on your way home you overhear two people complaining about how the foyer area in their apartment block have leaves blowing inside every day and the maintenance staff only clears it every second day. On and on they go they are going to call an extra building meeting to deal with this so the leaves will be removed daily if not twice daily!
You think to yourself – Imagine if those two people who were so passionate about a clean foyer and the length they would go through to keep it clean…IMAGINE if they would provide that passion to make it unacceptable for any child to have to grow up in Family Violence.

Imagine what Western Australia could be like in the future – by breaking the intergenerational cycle of Family Domestic Violence.

Thank You to all Police officers and your families who support you, as you work tirelessly to keep our children, families and friends safe from Family violence. Also thank you to all the social workers, The Salvation Army and so many others who care and do something about ensuring Western Australia is a safer place to grow up and raise our families.

My question to myself and to you is, what do YOU/WE do, as citizens of Western Australia? If we ALL did a little, such as check-in on friends and family and ask if they are ok.

If you see something, say something! Do you know what the signs of Family violence are? Do you know what to do to help/support a friend experiencing Family violence? Prevention is always better than a cure.

Join us to learn more at our FREE event: Hear firsthand from a police officer and a social worker on how it impacts them. You will hear first-hand the impact Family Violence has on frontline workers, the challenges, the rewards and the HOPE

Young Rotarian spreads HOPE in Atlanta, Georgia USA

I had a wonderful start to my morning with a FaceTime call with our very own young Rotarian and ‘PathofHopian’, Sagar Badve.

Sagar has been volunteering together with us in Path of Hope for many years. He is now on a Rotary Scholarship exchange in Atlanta, Georgia in the United States.  

Sagar is doing really well and is having a wonderful time, having great internships and having lots of amazing experiences such as a Wedding in Alabama this last weekend. He is off to New York soon.

He visits the Atlanta Rotary Club weekly. I have been kept updated by Bob Hope in that club on the great work Sagar is doing. Bob is very impressed with Sagar’s sharp mind and great networking abilities.

Here is a picture from our morning chat, I was still in bed so have blurred my pic a bit to not frighten you so early in the morning :)

 Have a wonderful day everyone and remember, if you have an opportunity to give someone a hand up to reach toward their dreams and goals, it brings so much joy and hope in ripples upon ripples….

 Yours in Rotary Service

Beccie

Blog Post #1

To listen to the Blog below in Voice Over Click Link >>> https://youtu.be/6iRkHojegjo

Greetings Fellow Rotarian/PathofHopians/Volunteers,

My name is Rebecca Tolstoy, I am a Perth Rotarian since 2011 and am the founding chair of our project Path of Hope – Breaking the Intergenerational cycle of family violence.

I was given the advice to write a blog for Path of Hope by Abigail Colman, a young woman who has been volunteering with Path of Hope since 2019. She started as an intern when she studied Marketing and Law at Curtin University in Western Australia.

Abi still volunteers with Path of Hope, and as the marketing wiz she is, I thought I better listen to the advice given by Abi and Sebastian Tarrant, another former intern still volunteering with us.

Abi and Seb have encouraged me for years to write in my own words/voice sharing the Path of Hope journey.

Being born and raised in Sweden, having English as my second language, DESPITE being a Tolstoy, writing is a little lower on my skills scale than I think this blog deserves.

So a small caveat for all the English teachers and grammar ‘nuts’, please put on a pair of ‘pink goggles’ IF you decide to read on. As this blog will be riddled with ‘Swinglish’ Swedish-English, far from perfect but all for progression!

Here goes: First Blog on 7 November 2021 | Perth Western Australia

I am excited to share some great news I have witnessed on a trip, last week, to The Salvation Army's Refuge in Karratha, Western Australia. This trip has been many years in the making, and finally, the day arrived.

When I woke up on Wednesday the 3 November 2021, I felt giddy and excited for many reasons.

Firstly, to be able to visit the Karratha Refuge for the first time, Secondly, to visit the city of Karratha for the first time and Thirdly, to actually be on a plane again.

However excited I was about all this, I believe my darling son, 23yr old Maximiliam, where the happiest, to finally have mom ‘on the road/out of the house again’, even if only for a few days.

As I am riding in an Uber on my way to Terminal 4, from Perth to Karratha in Western Australia. I reminisce back to the first trip with Path of Hope which was to Sydney, a Rotary Conference for District Governors from around Australia and New Zealand with my magical, brilliant, super smart, professional, kind, passionate mentor John Garland AM.

This lead to thinking about everyone from the peeps in Perth to the Rotarian’s around the world making the rollout of Path of Hope possible, the many trips to the UN in Geneva Switzerland, the White House in Washington D.C. USA, Atlanta Georgia USA to Atlanta Rotary and Roswell Rotary Club, UN/Rotary New York USA, the Vocational Training team with Sargent Hagan from The Western Australian Police force and five more team members as we knowledge shared from Los Angeles to Las Vegas USA funded by The Rotary Foundation, Stockholm Sweden, Svedala Sweden, Bangkok Thailand, Canberra – Melbourne – Sydney – Darwin – a little town in Queensland, Australia and many many more places.

How fortunate I am (and every Rotarian) to be able to volunteer and provide service to our local, national/international communities through our Rotary clubs. How 'rich' we are with opportunities to support/help/advocate for people who need a hand-up. My passion for volunteering is in the space to support women and children experiencing Family Violence, together with my fellow Rotarians (also volunteers) as we support The Salvation Army who own/operate refuges and the services that support their clients, the women./children experiencing Family Violence.

Thank you to EVERY SINGLE ONE of the 1.2 MILLION Rotarians in 35,000 clubs, 210 countries around the globe, for being members of Rotary and choosing ‘service above self', which makes projects like Path of Hope possible!!! THANK YOU for being you!!!

well, I got quickly jolted out of my reminiscing as I arrived to Terminal 4. As I started the walk toward the check-in, I noticed everyone was wearing a mask….. Geez Louise, Beccie, it is covid time why didn’t you pack a mask?!?!?!

In my insulated little bubble in Perth, I had totally missed that when flying, which I had not done in years, one had to wear a mask. Being lucky on this day ….Two nice gentlemen saw the horror on my face as I looked around in slight panic.

One of the gentlemen kindly asked me – Excuse me, do you need a mask? Embarrassed and a little panicked as I was trying to think what I had in my bag that could be used as a mask…

I finally find my words and say – Silly me, yes I do, it totally slipped my mind. The gentleman smiled and said – Well this is your lucky day, I have an extra from my last trip with Qantas, so I hope you are flying Qantas.

My heart slowly started to pick up the pace again after dropping to the ground - Yes thank you so much, this sure is my lucky day.

You, who knows me, know I of course started to tell the two gentlemen about why this trip was so important to me, about the visit to the Refuge in Karratha and thanking them for saving my 'bacon' so I could get on the plane. The smiles on the men’s faces and their kind comments, made me realise it was a good feeling for them too to have helped me. Once again a reminder to me/us that there are good people everywhere and most people are happy to help others where they can.

The flight and arrival to Karratha were seamless, though found out waiting for my luggage there are no Ubers in Karratha. So off I trekked to the taxi rank where a very kind gentleman helped me with my luggage into the trunk.

At the Hotel, I changed from my newly bought red dress and jacket, into gym gear to take a walk around Karratha. (I can still hear mom’s voice for me to always travel professionally dressed. Which I love to do, so no childhood traumas here ;)

Everywhere I visited stores and companies, I was greeted with the most kind and helpfulness one could ask for. Beautiful people!

On my last stop, before heading back to the hotel, I dropped into Coles to pick up some groceries. Before you, you know who you are, who says – Beccie go treat yourself to some good food in the restaurant and a nice glass of wine and relax.

I hear you and yes, it is nice to treat oneself every now and again. However, when I travel I always try to save money where I can... It is my own hard-earned money most of the time, and when it is not my money but a grant such as the Vocational Training Team exchange with the USA or birthday presents from Rotary friends to make the conferences I needed to make as I volunteer my heart-out with great pleasure. My money or someone else’s money, it is equally as important to make sure every penny is spent in the wises way. So $39 at Coles covered most of my food and drinks for two nights in Karratha.

Thursday 3 of November.
After a good night sleep I woke up rested and ready to roll. As I watched the morning news, my heart was filled with much joy when I saw the magical news the police had found the missing girl Cleo, the little girl who had been kidnapped 18 days prior while camping with her family, had been found by the police and was back in the arms of her mother. What magical news this was to start the day for all of Australia and bring HOPE around the world. As Police Commissioner of Western Australia Chris Dawson said – We are so happy that we ‘Dared to Hope’!!!

I was hoping to visit with the Police in Karratha on my visit to say hi and see how they are. However, the police were a bit busy so they suggested I visit on my next trip, which I will take them up on.
One day every fortnight I spend half, sometimes a whole, day as a patron supporting the police recruits through their training at the Police Academy, in Western Australia. This is a scheme organised between the Police Academy and The Order of Australia.

I am there to help/support the recruits though I believe I receive so much more in return. Thanks to the Police officers/Trainers I have learnt so much about what the Police do and how much they face on a daily basis in the community. It is a joy to hear the passion the trainers have for their profession and see first hand how they put so much effort in to training the recruits to keep the community and them selves safe.  

The eighteen months at the academy have strengthen my belief that I have had for many years, from volunteering at the Salvation Army refuge centre, of the important to heal the relationship between victims/survivors of Family Violence with The Police Officers. As victims/survivors women/children often meet the Police in traumatising and stressful situations for both victims/survivors but also stressful for the Police Officers. We must never forget the Police officers are our friends/family/neighbours/community members, just like us they are people, not robots.

Imagine having recruits/police officers going through their training/career mentoring the children in the family refuge centres…. playing footy, playing board games, going to a water park for a day to spend lots of energy and have lots of fun, building that bond of trust and friendship, so in the time of stress/fear/trauma they (both sides) can reach out to each other… Imagine what a different future those children would have!! Imagine the different perspective those Police Officers could have of victims of Family Violence!!! ‘Let’s dare to dream’ and make it happen!!! Ok now I am getting carried away on something I am very passionate about. But here is hoping!!!

The afternoon of Thursday the 3rd of November had now arrived and my meeting with a colleague, my friend Kristy Staples, Family Violence State Manager for The Salvation Army in Western Australia had finally arrived.

Kristy, kind and helpful as she always is, she had offered to pick me up at my hotel and drove me to the refuge. As always with Kristy there was great conversation and talk about everything from refuge and needs to how our son’s are doing.

The first stop, where the plot of land where The Salvation Army are building their new ‘State of the Art Culturally fitted Refuge Centre in Karratha’. The build is mainly funded by the Federal Government of Australia. I am blown away with Kristy’s and Warren Palmers vision, it will be absolutely a magical place for women and children to heal as they rebuild their lives away from Family Violence in to a peaceful home environment.

From there Kristy then took me to the current refuge that had been newly renovated/purpose fitted. This was done with help of the funds from Path of Hope Foundation Gala, the renovation/upgrade was to ‘tie them over’ until the new refuge is built, (aimed to be in 2023).

May I report that the renovations that had been completed with the funds from the Path of Hope Foundations Gala was absolutely marvellous and so well spent. Warren and Kristy, have truly done a great job refurbish the ‘old’ refuge to accommodate a healing/nurturing/empowering environment for the victims/survivors of FDV in the North West.

Security upgrade:

Warmed my heart to see the security upgrade, which is keeping the employees/clients safe as they work hard in this very high risk/volatile environment. The security cameras/system where greatly fit for purpose with mechanisms for the staff to safely and caringly bring the victims/survivors into the consultation room. The consultation room is also securely located away from the accommodation area to keep the healing process and life re-building for people in the refuge as stable as possible.

Unit’s upgrade:

It was a delight to see how there is the same facility as in The Salvation Army’s Perth based refuge, a unit for a staff member to sleep safely and securely on their overnight shift. For the victims/survivors to have access to support staff 24/7, which is a vital component in the first stage of healing/support.

Furthermore, I had the pleasure to see one room that had been renovated and purpose fitted with more storage cupboards, microwave, and freshly painted walls. One of the units have been made handicap fitted for wheelchairs to access bathroom, kitchen and easily enter in and out of the unit (This unit was occupied so I was unable to see the unit but it sounded absolutely like a dream unit for someone who is wheelchair bound to be self-sustaining.)

Staff:

Again, you who know me, the employees/staff/workforce is so important. If the staff is cared for listened to/educated/upskilled/safe then naturally, it is much easier for them to do a good job in this highly stressful/anxious environment. This flows on to be better for the staff’s family and so on.

The staff, during my visit was friendly and had a great attitude to their work. With a manager like Kristy it does not surprise me one bit =)) Kristy fights hard for her staff to receive the upskilling they require to stay safe and to give the best service possible. Hat off to Kristy!!!

Following the visit to the refuge, Kristy dropped me back to my hotel. Kristy was swamped with work so had to return to work before joining me for dinner at my hotel.

It was great to hear more about the amazing work Kristy and her team is doing and how Kristy is developing her team with such a great multi-cultural attitude. Her up and coming manager at Graceville is a woman from Africa. Kristy is over the moon with this woman’s development and qualities she possesses, that is vital for the role she is stepping in to.

Kristy is as excited as I am about the Path of Hope Foundation Gala for May next year so we got to speak a little about this too. We didn’t get enough time to talk through all the Gala in’s- and out’s but hopefully having Kristy attend Ray Simpson’s a Perth Rotarian and chair of the ‘Perth Rotary Path of Hope Western Australia Committee’ will bridge this.

Kristy also mentioned she really was looking forward to working closer with Ray in regards to how the Women to Women mentoring program could be revitalised, not only in Perth but introduced to Karratha too. Again here is ‘Daring to dream’ =)))

Thursday became another magical milestone in Path of Hope’s journey, meeting and talking to the people. Connecting with community is everything.

My journey to Karratha didn’t quite end there, I think this was just the beginning of something wonderful for Path of Hope in Karratha. So a second visit is a must and will make sure I get to visit the Rotary Club in Karratha who already is doing such great work with the refuge.

Folks, if you are a ‘Karratha citizen’ or connections with Karratha please contact us. We really would love your engagement, an hour a year or an hour a day, in-kind donations/ funds and/or attending our Gala on 21May 2022, every little bit helps toward our mission to heal our community together through Rotary Path of Hope. ‘Where there is a Rotary and a Salvation Army, there can be a Path of Hope Project – Be the Champion in your community! Together we break the intergenerational cycle of family violence, healing our community.’

With much love to you all from my heart and Rotary Service, I wish you a wonderful day.

Beccie